WHY WE SHOULD FORGET NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS! :

For about twenty years, every December 31st, with a tenacity bordering on insanity I’d make a new year’s resolution. It’s a tradition - like eating Brussel sprouts on Christmas Day, (unquestionably Mother Nature’s joke). I now realise NYR are just as unpalatable.

Over the years I vowed to eat less, exercise more, stress less, study more, drink less, travel more. I randomly rotated these worthy aims. I wanted to find a different me. Me, but an A+ version. A noble intention, undoubtedly we should all strive to improve ourselves, so why then by February 1st did I always feel worse about myself then when I started my quest a month earlier?

Because I failed. Every year. That’s why I had to make the same resolution year after year after year. It’s not good for a girl’s self esteem. I’m not a weak-willed person, in fact I’m known for my doggedness and self-discipline - so why then do I find it impossible to stick to a NYR? I’m not alone. As Big Ben chimes, literally millions admirably resolve to take a triumphant step towards self-betterment but - even before the last tassel of tinsel is stored away - millions have exposed their dismal failure of willpower. Why?

It’s obvious isn’t it? It’s all about timing. January the 1st isn’t the day to try to do anything! Let alone anything better!

By January women are exhausted, having devoted months to ensuring that our families enjoy Christmas. We’ve decorated trees, written and posted cards, chosen, bought and wrapped presents, planned and prepared countless meals. Truth is we’re all out of effort! And, if we were successful and did transform our homes into mini Santa-grottos, awash with garlands and greenery, mince pies and mulled wine, glitter, baubles and tartan bows - by January we’re in mourning. We miss all the goodwill we created. Grief isn’t compatible with enthusiasm. It’s hard to be an A+ person pounding the treadmill, abstaining from everything fun and practicing a new language or musical instrument if you’re all out of effort and enthusiasm!

Ill-advised activity at office Christmas parties often leads to a resolutions to give up alcohol. But even if New Year’s Eve celebrations have been relatively low-key (a sedate dinner rather than an all-night rave) most people still require a hair of the dog the following morning and the resolution is shattered before lunch.

And about that muffin top, you can’t kid yourself it is water retention - it’s fat. Of course it is, you’ve recently eaten your husband’s body weight in Cadbury Chocolate Roses but how can you start to diet on Jan 1st? The in-laws are coming for lunch; you need food as an emotional prop, ditto alcohol and probably fags too! Plus January is cold and salads are cold, they fail to offer any nutritional Ying to the seasonal Yang. In January you crave roasts and steaming puddings – it’s the law.

The chilly weather also scuppers the resolution to get fitter. Why would any sane human being go to a gym in Jan? Why haul your cold, grey, dimply body, through the cold, grey, drizzly streets just to sweat in an over-crowded gym that smells of brand new trainers and desperation. It’s not nice! There’s no motivation. Summer (when you really have to do something about the extra pounds) is too far away to be taken seriously. Yes, I know regular exercise increases longevity, helps achieve and maintain weight loss, enhances mood and lowers blood pressure. In short, exercise is God’s own little packet of prozac and I’m all for it - but not in January. Join a gym in March, it’s much quieter then as everyone who joined in Jan has left.

Some people resolve to ‘enjoy life more’. I’d enjoy life more if I was dating George Clooney but it’s not very realistic. Besides this sort of resolution has undertones of selfishness and so comes with bundles of guilt; you might as well just say you’ll go to the gym and then not – that’ll make you feel guilty enough.


About three years ago my resolution was, ‘no more resolutions’ and it’s the only one I’ve ever stuck to! Self-improvement can start any day of the year and I suggest it should start one of the other 364.